The Golden Trio Meets The Session From Hell
by SoDunWithYou
Summary: Swearing, Houses, ships, friends, messy breakups, relationships and descendants, Danscestors and Ancestors. All that are dead are alive - its messy. Also - all of the adults are siblings and Hogwarts is like an orphanage and so there are the Marauders but the teachers are the same. Tom Riddle is a dick.
1. Chapter 1

Davekat Erisol Sad stuck

(A.N – In this timeline KARKAT is in the middle of a MOIRALLEGIANCE with SOLLUX and still has ties with GAMZEE and is in a MATESPRITSHIP with DAVE. SOLLUX is in a MATESPRITSHIP with ERIDAN, a MOIRALLEGIANCE with KARKAT and a KISMISESITUDE with EQUIUS. DAVE is also in a KISMESISTUDE with GAMZEE unfortunately making him a prime target for a single sober GAMZEE. This will have cursing. It is Homestuck and KARKAT.)

The afterworld was awesome. But unfortunately, it seemed somethings always had to plague you – Karkat Vantas, leader of this pitiful group and it so happened it involved your….it involved Gamzee Makara, creep and high extraordinaire, the so-called batshit insane subjuggulator of your lame excuse of a friendship group that had so many messy breakups it was a surprise no one had killed each other again already.

Gamzee had, once again, spectacularly flown off the handle with a perfect twist into crazy with an amazing landing into a pot of batshit triple-dipped psycho. With solid tens across the board and an impressive 9.5 from the something-crawled-up-alongside-that-stick-and-died-in-my-ass Russian guy with Simon Cowl properties.

He had killed. Again. But you do not know this yet for, it hasn't happened yet – at least to you. Those who may have time jumping abilities like a certain red-wearing, dick-drawing, metaphor complete cool-kid nerd that you may or may not have a gigantic mutually returned red as your blood flushcrush on who just so happens to be your Matesprit. Or those who hear the imminently deceased screams may know, like a certain dual-loving poser of a psionic user that has a certain affinity for computers and coding who's anscestor was used as a battery, who just so happens to be your moirail that also just so happens to be in the idle of a beautifully blooming Matespritship himself, with a hipster Ampora, that likes the colour purple far too much.


	2. Buckle Up ButterCup, We Are Gonna Party

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you have several different issues. One of which includes the seating plan of your current lesson. You are in Potions and you are sat next to Dave Strider, one of the only even slightly tolerable people in your complain-able friendship group. Your teacher, Severus Snape had just taken 5 points off your house – which you are proud to say in Gryffindor- as two kids in your class, Potter and Malfoy, were fucking around.

Of course, the Gryffindor gets blamed for it because everyone know that Severus is very biased when it comes to the two houses. He always favours Slytherin. Which is okay you guess because it means he takes a little bit of mercy on Gamzee, despite him being the sweetest troll you knew, you were also aware of the strings he could pull with his father.

You also know that Gamzee is too nice and also too high-as-balls to think of that, so you often find yourself reminding him to do his homework, sometimes even helping or doing it for him because you're that good of a friend.

Another is the reasoning for the aforementioned problem, which wouldn't be an issue if not for this unfortunately very large, very red flush-crush you are currently hiding away from said Dave Strider. You manage to slide right on past it, dodging it like breathing. However, at some point, probably during a Potions lesson you are going to flip your shit, which currently mains perfectly unflipped, sitting there on the grill, charring on one side. You are going to say something dumb and hate yourself for it later. You know you are. So you leave a post-it-note on the inside of you Potions book for your future-self. You are not reading it now because that would be dumb. You are not far enough for it to be useful to you yet.

Dave Strider is currently writing something down and when you look upwards towards the board you realise with sudden certainty that Dave had been trying to get your attention as your leg hurts a lot in the same spot, a I've-been-kicked ache and the you realise why. Standing directly in front of you is Professor Snape in all of his greasy glory.

You. Are so Royally fucked, the Queen of England went OH SNAP.

(Nothing I write in here is to be taken as offensive, which I'm sure it won't. We English have a habit of ripping into each other. 😲 Mate, if you get offended don't take it to the comments. Take it to the pub and complain to a beer. (I don't condone drinking, underage drinking or drink driving. Drink responsibly and stick to the law (make the Pyrope's proud)))


End file.
